“Are you from Tennessee? Cause you’re the only ten I see.” Wow – when I heard those words trickle out of his mouth, I fully gave up on the male species. It’s hard for me to digest the fact that the majority of men in this world act like puppies; wagging their tails from excitement, drooling when they see something that sparks their interest, begging to get attention – the list goes on. The world is not based on the music video Who Let The Dogs Out, but since some of you insist on acting like canines, SIT, BOY (and listen)! When did it become socially acceptable to holler at a woman with some ridiculous line like, “HEY GIRL, LEMME GET YO NUMBER!” What ever happened to the classic “hello, my name is ______ (insert normal guy here).” Save the hollering for the drive through window, people. Thank you, come again! The way some men approach women is barbaric and degrading. The only soul I can think of with such little class is a zoo animal.
My bone to pick is with overly confident men who may benefit from borrowing a booster seat from your local T.G.I. Friday’s. Nothing agitates me more than a man who can’t comprehend the word “no.” I have considered carrying a Webster’s dictionary around with me, not only to teach them the definition of “no,” but to knock some sense into them if they try to pull a fast one. WHY must women be something you want to score? Can’t we just leave that to soccer, basketball, baseball and the cleats chasers? The worst are the pests at the bar insisting to buy you a shot. No, thanks, I am not Tila Tequila. Growing up, we watched movies that resulted in fairytale endings. It set the imaginary bar extremely high with the weight of expectations resting on it. As we get older, it becomes crystal clear that the movies we religiously watched were nothing but fictitious tales. There’s no prince charming waiting to sweep you off your feet, climb up your hair or wake you up with a peck on your perfect pout. If I waltzed around in glass slippers, they would shatter into a million pieces because of my over-indulging antics during the holiday season. However, there are some men who will treat you like the queen you are, but you are going to have to block the other panting puppies out like Shaquille O’Neal along the way.
If you whack all of the weeds, you’ll eventually find a flower. Just because these movies were never brought to life doesn’t mean you can’t create your own fairytale. You’ll find someone who you can have an intellectual conversation with. Someone who challenges you to step out of your comfort zone. Someone who looks at you like you are the only person in the room. Someone who holds on to you tightly because they couldn’t imagine letting you go. Someone who isn’t perfect but you love them for all their imperfections. Tramps find the dogs flattering; ladies send them back to bench warm and wait for the real MVP’s to come to whisk them away. Don’t come barking up the wrong tree; I am a lady.
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