There are two types of exes; the ex who Usain Bolts out of your life the second you break up, and the ex who lingers like a mom at a high school party. We’ve already gone over why and how exes should remain exes. To refresh your memory: people shouldn’t have to break up in order to realize that you’re the one they want. So – I’m revisiting this topic because when your ex keeps popping up like a raccoon in the road, I know it’s easier said than done to turn the other cheek.
I have a girlfriend who recently got out of a long-term relationship. She did what any woman would do and took the single life by storm. Her dating game was A1; she didn’t even have to go to the grocery store because she was being courted nightly. She broke her ex off like a Kit Kat bar. The last thing she wanted to think about was him. She followed the “It’s Called A Break-Up Because It’s Broken” motto, but homeboy kept weaseling his way back into her life. Post break-up, there was a very minimal exchange of words, but short conversations were still happening. When her ex beau realized she wasn’t ready to go from Crazy-In-Love to That’s My Bestie, My Best Friend, Go Best Friend, he backed off a little. Instead of contacting her, he started to reach out to her friends in the least organic ways possible. He was embedding himself in their DM’s with bizarre compliments.
It’s like washing your hair and getting out of the shower only to realize you didn’t fully get all of your Biolage conditioner out. Boomerang exes play the hokey-pokey better than anyone you will ever meet. They keep their right foot in and their left foot out so they can keep their presence relevant in your life. These are the exes who don’t want to commit to you, but they sure do want to stunt your growth. As they distract you by coming in and out of your life like a revolving door at a luxury high-rise, they will find someone new. No matter what anyone says, seeing your ex move on is harder to digest than a porterhouse.
My girlfriend is too strong to let any of the above phase her, but there are people who are greatly effected by “big foot” in their lives. Wanna know why? COMFORT. They’re so comfortable with that person and the thought of awkward dating again makes them squirm. They run back to the past because they don’t want to deal with the Future Hendrix. Well, guess what? I will buy you a recliner from Rooms-To-Go so you can kick back, relax and enjoy the ride elsewhere, honey.
I really am a firm believer that everyone in this world has their “person.” This person is someone who will laugh at/with you, love you, hold you, tease you, listen to you, make memories with you and argue with you. When you find your other half who makes you whole, you will realize that although you fight and argue, it never takes precedence over the love you share for one another. You both use those arguments to grow and make the relationship stronger. I stand by the fact that you fight with the people you love because those are the relationships worth fighting for. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so for now, enjoy being a table for one (like me)!
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