When I think of games, basketball, Backgammon, Monopoly and Candy Crush come to mind. These days, it’s not all about maneuvering around a board, throwing a dice, dribbling a ball or advancing to the next level. In the dating world, there’s an unbearable component; it’s called MIND GAMES. Mind games have no referee, rules, teammates or purpose. It’s a game of manipulation, mixed messages and attempt to control. Mind games are a complete recipe for disaster and if you engage in this I hope you carry Tylenol EXTRA strength to relieve a mountain of headaches to come.
We’ve all done it, however, my days of acting like a kid have stayed in my childhood alongside my Barbies and Baby Bottle Pops. I’m at a certain point in my life where I have no patience for mind games – beating around the bush is for gardeners. Intimidating is a word that is often used to describe me; I do not take offense to this whatsoever. I know I’m intimidating, outgoing, straightforward and an extremely confident woman. I’m the kind of woman who won’t sugarcoat anything – you don’t need the extra calories, and I don’t need to live up to anyone’s standards other than my own.
When we were younger, kids would yank our luscious locks or make fun of our light-up tennis shoes. This was a fair indication that they had a serious crush. You would think as people got older, their ability to communikate (see what I did there) their feelings and intentions would come naturally. That is not the case, because immature behavior is constantly encouraged. I heard someone reference the three-day-rule recently. I fell out of my chair as I laughed like a hyena. If someone waited three days to contact me post-date, they would be more heartbroken than Drake recording Marvin’s Room, because I would be long gone.
First of all, I wish I could secretly enable everyone’s read receipts so I could expose you all. One thing us millennials have in common is that we always have our cellular devices glued to our paws. Let’s say your crush texts you – half of you will wait a specific amount of time before responding to imply that you were busy. In reality, you were just sitting there like an alarm clock trying to kill time. The other half of you will break out into a full-blown Patrick Swayze sweat trying to come up with a reply. It’s not that deep, folks – don’t do it. If you want something, you have to get your little behind up and go get it. Say I wanted a new Chanel Bag – do you think that purse knows that I was drooling over it like a Great Dane for three months? No, and your crush has no idea that you have been panting like a puppy, either. Men think women are difficult and women think men are clueless, but the fact of the matter is that neither are mind readers (cue Mrs. Cleo). Life is not a game of Guess Who. If you want an answer to something, you have to ask.
These mind games are not meant to be played by those who are free to dip in the water during adult swim. These games are for children who have to wear floaties to survive in the deep end. I’m not telling you all to grab a lasso and attempt to reel in a winner. I’m encouraging you to leave the games to the athletes and adolescents. Be yourself; over-analyzing situations will drive you crazy like bald Britney Spears. If you pursue someone and your honesty inflicts discomfort or the liking is not reciprocated, move on – it was never going to work in the first place. When it’s right, it should be easy. There are a million games in the world you can play – just don’t let your love life be one of them.
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