When you’re dating someone consistently, it’s only natural to hope for exclusivity in the near future. The older (wiser) generations refer to it as “going steady.” Why can’t we – the millennials – be that simple? Our generation is full of ridiculous terms – we’re “talking,” “seeing each other,” or “that’s my bae!” There are too many to name and I highly doubt anyone knows the real definition of any of them. Something we can all agree on is that commitment scares people more than Halloween Horror Nights. If you put the word “commitment” on the table, you’re basically saying, “on your mark, GET SET, GO!” This may be the point where you could drive the person you are interested in away faster than Jeff Gordon in Daytona. When people think about commitment, they usually paint a picture along the lines of living in the suburbs in a brick house with two children who have common names. Commitment does not mean you’re getting married, folks – it simply means I’ve got my eyes on you and only you, babe.
I’m going to go ahead and stick with the term “dating.” My meaning of this word is that you are frequently spending time with the same person. Capeesh? It’s obvious that after you have put time and energy into this one LUCKY suitor, stronger feelings begin to develop. You get teenage-giddy about their texts, your heart beats a little faster in their presence and spending time with them is like water in the desert – you just can’t get enough. Women are presumably the ones who want to define the relationship. We don’t enjoy sharing our burgers or designer duds, so why would we want to share a man? It would be the luck of the draw if your emotions and level of interest developed at the same speed, but most of the time, that will never be the case.
WHATEVER YOU DO, don’t assume that just because they’re triple texting you, occupying 3+ nights of your week and sharing their overcooked filet mignon with you that they’re “YOURS.” People aren’t possesions. If someone assumed I was their property, I would sing Lesley Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me.” Buh-bye. Being exclusive with someone is something you cannot rush into; it’s great to be open and honest about the way you feel towards someone, but being forceful with it make them feel like you’re slipping them into a straightjacket. Commitment is a decision that takes time and must be agreed upon between the two of you. If you start whining and demanding, you might as well give them a one-way ticket to Dubai because they will dip like chips. Think about it like your Thanksgiving meal; it takes a while to prepare, but it’s totally worth the wait. You make good and bad decisions. Last night I decided to eat so much Thai food that I had to (spring) roll my way into bed – bad decision. This year I decided to be open to love – good decision. Not every decision in your life will have a huge impact on your future, but you should trust yourself in making the ones that are right for you.
Commitment is sexy. I will always be more attracted to a man who wants to lock down the terms of his relationship because he truly feels as if he has a prize. Picture being at the fair and you just won one of those obnoxiously oversized stuffed animals. “COME ON DOWN, WE HAVE A WINNER!” It all comes down to quality over quantity. If you are smarter than a fifth grader, you should know that when you find someone who is all that and a bag of ruffles, you should hold on to them. Don’t be fearful; if it were Easter and all your eggs were in one basket, that would mean you won the scavenger hunt.
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